I heard we made out
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
