how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
