I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
