If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
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Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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