I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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