I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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