does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
