I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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