when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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