we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize