Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He did a backflip because drugs
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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