it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
