is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize