we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
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