i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
