Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!

(650): View more from California

LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!

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(415): WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!! (650): LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops! http://tfl.nu/mj23

Replies (4) Good night (1126) Bad night (884)
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(810): View more from Michigan

i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.

(1-810): View more from Michigan

nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.

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(810): i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand. (1-810): nice, that's exactly what jesus would do. http://tfl.nu/jen7

Replies (19) Good night (4207) Bad night (637)
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(416): View more from Ontario

Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.

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(416): Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her. http://tfl.nu/nm33

Replies (10) Good night (1007) Bad night (3070)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...

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(604): Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero... http://tfl.nu/xsvf

Replies (17) Good night (6272) Bad night (1140)
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(315): View more from New York

My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...

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(315): My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships... http://tfl.nu/1r9u

Replies (43) Good night (3200) Bad night (6714)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.

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(504): Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine. http://tfl.nu/uqy7

Replies (13) Good night (2126) Bad night (2628)
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(303): View more from Colorado

So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?

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(303): So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door? http://tfl.nu/on5x

Replies (8) Good night (4242) Bad night (923)
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(253): View more from Washington

Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.

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(253): Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle. http://tfl.nu/sb1o

Replies (12) Good night (3175) Bad night (967)
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(614): View more from Ohio

Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.

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(614): Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok. http://tfl.nu/bya3

Replies (6) Good night (1671) Bad night (751)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk

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(704): She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk http://tfl.nu/c7yo

Replies (6) Good night (2214) Bad night (665)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!

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(314): Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo! http://tfl.nu/csd8

Replies (2) Good night (1438) Bad night (575)
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(419): View more from Ohio

Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.

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(419): Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day. http://tfl.nu/oeq7

Replies (4) Good night (1214) Bad night (454)
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(716): View more from New York

Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink

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(716): Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink http://tfl.nu/hn0o

Replies (7) Good night (681) Bad night (498)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.

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(918): I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me. http://tfl.nu/t73s

Replies (4) Good night (439) Bad night (653)
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(740): View more from Ohio

The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica

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(740): The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica http://tfl.nu/yubm

Replies (4) Good night (1079) Bad night (291)

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