so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...