ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
This house was built for laser tag.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills