just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
