just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize