woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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