It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
