It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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