I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
