I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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