About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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