My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
