I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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