Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize