Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
