He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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