am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize