ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
