We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize