Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
