we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Randomize