Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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