i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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