barbara walters just said penis...
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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