If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
