I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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