is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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