My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize