We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
