This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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