it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
