Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
