Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
