New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
