there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize