There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
