he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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