I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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