im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
