He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
