He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
