We're facebook friends in real life
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
