Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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