Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Randomize
