She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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