Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize