And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
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I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
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IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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