your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
