I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
