I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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