How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Welp...herpes.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are going to name an STD after you.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize